Can We Be Too Conscious?

I just had a fascinating conversation with the Program Director of a local childcare center in Ithaca.  We were talking about the listening and the speaking turns, and about a goal of getting her staff at the school to  listen . . . . all the time — whether it is to an angry parent or to a distressed 4 year old or to each other during staff meetings or to a spouse at home.

Understanding the concept, she asked thoughtfully, “Can we become too conscious?”  She mentioned two friends of hers, a married couple who are totally committed to being responsible communicators to each other and to their professional clients, and to being conscious and present in their lives in each moment.  She said her friends are never “off.”  They prepare and plan their difficult conversations.  They are respectful all the time no matter who is talking to whom or about what is being said.  She said she can almost hear their minds going “CLICK-Step #1, CLICK-Step #2, CLICK-Step #3″ whenever she speaks with either of them about anything.

She said it’s a little disconcerting, and her question to me was about the possibility of life becoming too methodical with such a high commitment to conscious communication.  Is there any fun in that?  Is there joy present if the emotions are so tightly under control?  What if we got every staff member at the school to operate at that high level of consciousness with each other all the time?  Imagine anger always being dealt with productively and cleanly.  Imagine no sniping behind peoples’ backs.  Imagine speaking directly to people about their problem behavior and not having to deal with their defensiveness and reactivity?

Would that be boring?  Lifeless?  Empty?  Or would it be delightful and incredible?

Ed